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29 November 2022

Yesterday I went into the city for my second 6-month check-up post-surgery. This one was with my surgeon and one of his residents. I won’t bury the lede too deeply – all remains well. :-)

It’s been a year since I was back at the Lurie Cancer Center at Northwestern. This center is the #1 cancer center in Illinois and in the Top Ten in the country. It includes the Lynn Sage Comprehensive Breast Center (where I get my annual boob-o-gram done), as well as the Maggie Daley Center for Women’s Cancer Care. It’s where Dr. Tanner’s office is. The waiting area was as I remembered it – low lighting, and women of all ages and races in various stages of cancer treatment. One of the things they do when you check in, is put a hospital bracelet on you. I’m guessing they do it across the board as a safety measure because there are so many patients with so many different reasons for being there. It does sort of keep people away from you on the train when you have one of these on . . .

I got there a little early and was actually seen before my scheduled time! First I met with the resident who asked me all the usual questions. She then reported back to Dr. Tanner and they both came back to talk to me and perform a quick pelvic exam. Top of the questions on both their lists was did I have any more bleeding or any pelvic pain. They were both happy to hear that I haven’t had either of those things. I told them that my pelvic floor physical therapy has been going well. The resident mentioned the sling operation that could take care of any leaking. I’m not keen to have a surgery that’s not medically necessary (I’m not keen to have any surgery ever again), but she assured me that it’s not a long procedure and is done under twilight sleep like my D&C was, so I’m keeping it in mind for the future.

I posted on my Instagram account where I have talked about my cancer journey about how grateful I am that I had a good check up and that I’m so thankful to be cancer-free. A woman who follows my account left a comment that she’s had six surgeries for endometrial cancer and she’s currently in remission for the second time. She said she never considers herself cancer-free. I felt sad to read her comment, and I was reminded – as I often am – how lucky I was that mine was caught so early and that it had not spread. I always hope that I say the right thing when I respond – most of the time I don’t know what to say when presented with a comment like hers. I just said I was sorry that it had come back for her and that I hoped she would stay in remission.

I’m a year on from one of the most challenging times of my life. I feel like it took me most of this year just to continue to process everything. Sounds kind of crazy that it could take that long to process it all, but when it happened it all happened so very fast, and then recovery was quite a journey. As I look back, I can see that I couldn’t truly focus on much else other than myself – my own health and wellness – for most of this year.

Onward I go – I just gave up my Tai Chi class to restart the Balance365 Coaching program. I know this is the best decision for me for a number of reasons, but I also know that I will miss Tai Chi. It’s my plan to keep it up much better during this break using the videos my instructor made. I can also take more advantage of my time at the health club to sort of fill the gap from Tai Chi. I’d really like to get back into the pool. I’ve held off because I’m anxious about being in the pool without a mask. I guess some folks do water aerobics with mask in place. I’m not sure that’s for me, but I’ll check it out.

What a year . . . at this time last year I couldn’t imagine regaining the strength that I knew I had lost, but I’m stronger now than before my surgery. I couldn’t imagine that it would take me so long to process everything to where I could get to the point of choosing my actions rather than just reacting to everything life was throwing my way. I was disheartened to be single again – that the man I was with then was not supportive of my cancer diagnosis. I happened to mention that at my appointment yesterday and they said that it’s far more common than you might think that a man beats feet when his partner gets a cancer diagnosis. Wow . . .

But I’m here – and in the words of the wonderful lyricist, Bernie Taupin, I’m still standing – better than I ever did (and if it wasn’t Christmastime I would use this for my tune of the day). And I’m pretty happy about it. :-)

I ran across this again a couple of days ago and it makes me laugh out loud every fricking time I watch it. I hope it brings brings at least a smile to you if not a couple of outright belly laughs :-D :-D

This is a group of high schoolers – and, of course, this is the Hallelujah Chorus